Rules of Engagement

[endless_scrolls]

Title: Rules of Engagement
Type: Fanfic
Fandom: AU!Naruto
Theme: "Champagne and Handcuffs; Naruto and Tenten/platonic or otherwise, as long as both are involved. Whatever universe tickles your fancy."
Character(s): Tenten, Uzumaki Naruto
Pairing(s): Small hints of Naruto/Tenten
Warning(s): Mentions of delinquent acts and nudity
Disclaimer: I own nothing but these words.
Note: "Tell you what. I'll write you something with this prompt too and we'll trade." Short piece written for a fic trade agreement during a drabble meme. Takes place in the same universe as the last_stretch RP comm.
Dedicated to: rearrangeable. ♥

After years of taking residence as his best friend, Tenten had formulated a number of rules for survival when it came to hanging out with one Uzumaki Naruto. They were, in her opinion, necessary and binding if someone wished to last even a single night against the blond's ever mischievous nature, especially when faced with the risk of expulsion from the school. After all, paid tuition for classes and other student benefits meant nothing halfway through the term when it would do well to pay for the damaged caused by reckless behavior.

Rule Number One: Learn to hold your alcohol.

Despite their young ages, Naruto had an uncanny ability to drink any and everyone under the table, no problem. What that said of him and his tolerance level for the stuff, she preferred not to think about. But it was a sure bet that alcohol poisoning would be far from his list of possible cause of death. So Tenten had thought indulging in a lighter stock of champagne would keep things fairly calm and collected. With so much going right these days for both of their lives, the last thing either one wanted was to screw things up due to irrationality acts carried out under the influence of strong liquor.

That had been her first mistake, she realized. The lower concentration only brought them both into a false sense of security as the two finished off bottle after bottle, never realizing until it was too late how it began to add up in the end.

Rule Number Two: Never challenge Naruto while in a pending drunk stupor.

It was their weakness in correlation to each other. Or at the very least, one of many where the two were involved. Bold and unbending as their personalities were when perfectly sober, it was only increased tenfold while under the influence. Indecent exposure was the common and favored theme, but by far, only one of their more tamed antics.

"Maybe skinny dipping in the fountain was a bad idea, after all," the blond muttered from his side of the cell.

Rule Number Three: Always have a back-up plan.

Just as history had always proven, sometimes the best intentions and the most well thought-out plans were simply not enough to escape capture and incarceration. And so, Tenten had learned long ago to keep a secondary game plan tucked away, just in case. But as the young woman gave the metal cuff clinched around her wrist a disdained tug, she began to think that maybe asking the Inuzuka to execute it had been poor judgment on her part.

She was soaked to the bone, barely dressed with nothing more than the shirt off of Naruto's back to keep her decently covered -- what the hell had happened to her clothes, anyways? -- and in a rather foul mood as the after-effects of their binge began to take hold.

"When did Kiba say he'd get here?"

"As soon as he got the money from my account," the young woman replied, pinching the bridge of her nose in hopes of releasing a bit of the tension, "Which, in Keebs speech, means not until morning."

"Still regret staying to help me close up the bar?"

Here, she just had to smirk. "...Not a second."