endless_scrolls (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
endless_scrolls) wrote2007-10-09 03:25 pm
endless_scrolls) wrote2007-10-09 03:25 pm
Entry tags:
Log: KnG Roof-Top Meeting
Title: Roof-Top Meeting
Type: RP log
Fandom: AU!Naruto
Character(s): Sabaku no Gaara, Tenten
Pairing(s): Really faint hints of GaaTen if you squint hard enough.
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: I own only the part that I played in this.
Note: Log originally posted June 29, 2007 for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
konohanogakuen RP comm. The Gaara mun has since quit due to uncontrollable circumstances and I miss them dearly. ;__;
Dedicated to: Gaara-mun...and my love of slow GaaTen developments. ^^
Sunrises were beautiful things, and today's was no exception. The clouds above were tinged in pink, outlined in gold, and the darkness of night gave way to the soft light of early morning. Sunrises were peaceful. They let you forget the troubles of a bitter past. They helped you escape from the darkness of a despairing present. And, most importantly, they let you fantasize about a future that was good, and true, and pure, and everything you may ever want it to be.
Gaara liked watching sunrises, nearly as much as he liked watching sunsets. As he sat back against the hard concrete of Konoha no Gakuen's rooftop, his all-black garb contrasting darkly with the dull gray cement he sat atop. Eyes half-lidded, the red-head gazed thoughtfully at the rising sun before him, watching with mild interest as the sky changed colors with its ascent. Few things in this world could be described as beautiful by Gaara. This masterpiece before him was one of those things, though he would never admit it out loud.
Admittedly, the sunrises in Suna were more magnificent than those in Konoha, though today had been a exception. As was the custom with a more humid climate, early morning gave way to a dense fog which blocked the rays of sunshine trying to filter down to the earth below. The effect: a sickly yellow-green color which was definitely not pleasant on the eyes. In Suna, the climate was so dry that fog was an impossibility. Instead, the constant harsh winds would whip through the sand and carry it in an invisible grasp. The glaring yellow sun was strong enough to filter through these small grains, and cast hues of orange, red, and yellow on the land.
Closing his eyes completely, the red-head basked in the silence of early morning.
Generally an even-minded and calm individual, there were few things in the world that could unnerve Tenten enough so that she would end up spending the entire night sitting awake in her dorm with little else to do for fear of waking up her roommate. It was her problem to deal with, not Sakura’s. But grief was something that could seep into the minds of everyone, even the most strong-willed and unlikely of characters. Only hours before, she had fallen victim to another nightmare, this one filled with memories of her long-forgotten parents and the tragedy that had placed the girl in the care of her uncle.
Bad dreams and haunting nightmares very rarely occurred in her life, but they happened often enough that Tenten had developed a routine of sorts to get her through those particular nights. Most times, she would simply burn up the hours by staring out the window at the moonlit sky, bathing the world in shadows while the stars twinkled and shined. They were a source of inspiration, as the poets write. But under the circumstances, they were merely welcomed distractions.
It was only when the thought of remaining in her room became too suffocating that she would risk a journey outside into the open air. More often than not, that stage of her routine would happen just in time for the brunette to make her way over to the school and the orchestra room where the piano would be waiting for her. Soothed and comforted by the music, she would spend hours until it was time for school to begin just playing the songs she had learned as a child and remember the good times that had been so prominent in her life before everything changed.
But now was not one of those occasions. The morning rays had been too inviting, too beautiful for Tenten to ignore for any longer. It had been a long while since she had made a trip up to the roof of the building to enjoy the wonders of a sunrise in Japan. And so, eyeing the small canvas in the corner of the room, already streaked with paint from her previous visits, the decision to head up there was made.
She smiled at the familiar sound of her steps echoing loudly in the spiraling stairwell as she made her ascent, the dried canvas tucked under one arm while the other held the other supplies she would need to complete the painting. Tapped to a corner of the canvas was a small photo of the sunrise, something she would use as a reference when the real thing was not available to her.
But then again, nothing is as good as the real thing, she admitted with a smirk as she pushed open the heavy metal door at the top of the stairs.
The sound of the rooftop door creaking open caught Gaara's attention, and he whipped his head around to view the figure interrupting his morning routine with suspicion. Great, he thought, watching carefully as an unfamiliar female stepped through the door and out into the open air. There goes the day... Grunting, the red-head turned his attention back to the rising sun, attempting to ignore the other, though the sounds of her incessant shuffling grated harshly on his ears. After a few moments of suffering, the teenager finally snapped.
"Leave," he called out harshly, his back still turned to the intruder. He found his request justifiable, and didn't care how rudely he had stated it. He had been here first, after all, so that had to count for something. Besides, company only got annoying, and when he got annoyed, he wasn't above throwing the source of such troubles off the roof entirely.
Believing that everyone else was still in bed sleeping, Tenten had been shocked to find that she would not be the only soul on the roof that morning. With a loud creek of the metal door, the girl stepped out of the stairwell to be greeted by the intense green eyes of another student. The blazing red hair had been a dead giveaway, considering there were only two people in the entire school that she knew of who possessed that particular hue. And while Sasori was completely the type to wake up at odd hours of the day, including the early mornings, from what Tenten had heard from Sakura the Senior had not left his dorm for quite some time. So it could only be one other person.
Feeling as if she might be intruding on a private moment, her initial thought was to retreat back into the safety of the shadows in order to let him have his moment. But upon rethinking her decision, the brunette decided to stay. The building itself covered a lot of space and so, certainly, the roof would be big enough for the both of then to exist comfortably. Normally a cooperative person, the need to forget about the dream out-weighed her usual response of courtesy.
Quietly as she could the sophomore made her way to the other side of the roof and began setting up the easel and canvas, refraining from even looking in his direction so that he could keep some semblance of privacy. In truth, Tenten had only met him once before during the tour she had been asked to give to the new students and knew next to nothing about the young man. But judging by the way he had always seemed isolate himself from the group, always lagging a little bit behind the group or standing off to the side, she could tell that he was a very solitary person.
All thoughts on that left her as his voice called out in annoyance, to which Tenten could not help but frown at. Yes, she was usually a polite and respectful member of society. But even she had triggers that called for her to be less than accommodating. And if there was something that she despised more anything, it was being told what to do rather than being asked. So with the paintbrush still in hand, she turned irritably towards the younger student and responded coolly, "Last I checked, this was public property. So if you don‘t mind, I have a painting to continue."
And with that, the brunette focused her attention back on the painting, glancing up at the sky occasionally to make sure she got the coloring right.
She didn't leave like he expected, and instead bit back a harsh retort. Glancing behind him, Gaara took note of the figure in the distance, recognizing who it was after a moments contemplation. When he had first met the girl - Tenten, was it? -, he was under the impression that she was a polite, confident person. Apparently, the confidence remained, but the politeness seemed to have fled in light of his own arrogance.
Snorting, the red-head twisted his body around to better glare at the girl on the other side of the roof. When he saw her painting, he tipped his head to the side and shifted slightly, watching with interest as she mixed and blended different colors to recreate the sky above them. Lifting up, the teenager stalked towards the other with unheard footsteps, pausing only when he was close enough to see the better details of her painting. Studying it with analytical accuracy, Gaara crossed his arms and spoke from directly behind her.
"The clouds have a more golden tint to them, not yellow... And your shade of blue is off." True, there were few things that interested the red-head, but art - painting and drawing, especially - was something he was rather fond of. It was unfortunate, though, that it could be another source of annoyance when others didn't see something how he saw it. Of course, he always had the courtesy to point out their mistakes for them. At least that could be considered an act of kindness, right?
His presence mostly forgotten, she continued to add on to the painting, getting lost in the process as the girl would often do with any medium of art she tackled. She barely registered his indignant snort as she continued to switch from the scene in front of her and the one depicted on the canvas. Tenten frowned slightly, brows furrowing together in frustration as she realized that the picture just did not seem right, though she could not for the life of her figure out why.
While it was true that every sunrise was never the same as the one before it nor the one after, the colors and scenes would most likely be greatly similar (she had seen enough of them to know that). And although Tenten did not consider herself to be a perfectionist when it came to this form of art, the nagging feeling in the back of the girl’s mind just would not leave her alone. The various hues and shades that she had already attempted thus far had done nothing to improve on the painting, and she was beginning to believe nothing would...
The suddenness of his voice appearing from behind her broke through such thoughts, startling the brunette so much so that she nearly dropped the brush in her hand. Palm pressed against her sternum, the pounding of her heart beat harshly against the cage of her ribs, Tenten spared a glance behind her and at the figure of Gaara that had somewhat magically manifested itself there. Where did he come from?
But that was only a lingering thought as a more prominent point plowed through her already racing mind. It had been clear from the tour that the red-head was less concerned about interacting with others, even his own sibling. So why was he helping her, someone he had only met once prior to this encounter, with this?
"Um…thanks," Tenten managed to say as she turned back to make the suggested changes.
She followed his advice, altering a few things here and there, but it still wasn't right. Growling in frustration, the red-head uncrossed his arms and slit his eyes. "Here." He stepped closer until his chest was just centimeters away from pressing against her back, their body heats mingling in the small space trapped between. Pointing towards a particular shade of blue, the red-head turned striking jade eyes in the others direction. "If you mix that with a few drops of white, you should come out with the right color."
It annoyed him to no end when people couldn't just see these things for himself. But it was much more bothersome when they didn't fix their mistakes. And when it came to art, Gaara demanded perfection, or at least something close to it.
Admittedly, she had always been better at sketches and sculptures, the more monotone disciplines of the arts. Color was often left to the photos she would take, relying on nature’s beauty to fill in the spaces with its vibrant hues. But always the adventurer that she was, Tenten had taken on this project in order to try something new. And with every mistake, a new lesson was learned. It did not bother her that much that Gaara had been pointing out the flaws in her painting. She welcomed the advice actually, even more so because he was the type who would never go out of his way to socialize with anyone.
However, feeling the heat of his body against her own was a bit unnerving and told just exactly how close he was standing. The soft caress of his breathe against the back of her neck, the sound of his voice just behind her ear; they were all starting to get to her. Not in a big way that was significant, but enough that she had to lean forward just a fraction. Normally, Tenten would only allow friends to get that close to her, and this guy was essentially a stranger, one who had made it clear that he was not trying to be friendly at all.
"Like this?" But if he was willing to speak with her, no matter what the manner, as long as he remained respectful to her, she would continue on and try her best to stay focused on the things he was showing her and nothing else. After all, she was in school to learn.
He noticed her shift away from him, even if the movement was slight, and snorted in amusement. Ignoring her question, he backed away from her, crossing the threshold to the other side of the roof and gazing upwards at the sky above. Tenten was intriguing, at best - annoying, at worst -, though the red-head found him falling into a mind in between those two extremes. He didn't really care, either way. Only... she had stolen his solitude right out from under him, and had refused to back down when he had told her to leave in the most threatening tone he could muster. Most people left. In fact, most people fled before Gaara even uttered a word. His mere presence was ominous enough to give others a bad feeling around him.
This had been good and well in Suna. One didn't really want to make friends back home, because you never knew who might stab you in the back when you least expect it. Gaara had learned this lesson well enough a long time ago, and applied its principles to this day. But in Konoha, solitude and defensiveness wasn't quite normal, and this confused him greatly. How could these people open up to each other? Weren't they afraid of being emotionally attacked? Had they no sense of self-preservation? It didn't make sense...
And here was this girl, back turned to Gaara as if she didn't fear he might hurt her. As if she wasn't suspicious of his motives. As if she trusted him. He didn't like it. He didn't like this fearlessness one bit, because it was unfamiliar, and unfamiliar things were threatening. Slitting his eyes at nothing in particular, the rumble of Gaara's low voice sounded before he could think to hold it in.
"Why do you not leave?" It was an innocent enough question, though the malice dripping from his tone gave it a whole other meaning. 'Why aren't you afraid?' he seemed to say. 'Have you no common sense?' These musings were left unspoken, but were hinted at subtly in his words. He wanted to know the answer, because then this girl might be less intriguing because of it, and if that was the case, he would be able to get on with his life.
His lack of response to her inquiry was nothing less than what she had expected. It was a foolish notion to even begin to believe that his demeanor would change after one gesture of...whatever it was that he had intended in giving Tenten impromptu aid with the painting project. Most would consider it an act of kindness on his part, but she knew better than to believe that, even with the limited amount of time the two had manage to spend in each other’s company.
On the surface, he appeared to be the typical self-imposed outcast, one who chose to keep himself separated from the group of his peers for one reason or another. He seemed to enjoy the isolation; that much had been apparent in the way he mostly kept to himself during the tour and in their shared classes, even in the way his voice held such authority when Gaara had demanded her to leave the roof when the girl arrived. But what was lying underneath all that animosity that the red-head seemed to give to any and all that he came across, Tenten could only guess.
With no words to be said, she glanced over her shoulder as Gaara distanced himself once more, returning to the other side of the roof where he had started when she arrived that morning. No, it was not her goal to become his companion and save him from continuing his lonely existence (because indeed, that was how she viewed it). She would leave the decision entirely up to him of whether or not they would become friends. Regardless, life would continue on like it had prior to his entrance into the school. But Tenten would be lying to herself if she said that she was not the least bit curious.
Continuing to make minor changes to the painting, the brunette could only scoff at his patronizing inquiry. Even when asking a simple question, Gaara just could not grasp the concept of common courtesy and respect.
"Because, first of all, I don‘t respond well to demands, most people don’t." Keeping her back to him, Tenten replied as calm and polite as she could under the circumstances, though she did little to hide the hint of sarcasm in her voice. "And secondly...I need a good distraction, even if it means having to deal with your ‘sunny’ disposition."
He didn't ignore the slight pause she left in her second statement, and tilted his head to the side when he heard it. Gaara understood what it was like to feel the need to distract yourself from the worries of this world. He did such a thing every night, often refusing to sleep just to ward off the nightmares that always came. Closing his eyes, the red-head turned his back on the other and remained silent for a while, listening to the soft strokes of Tenten's paintbrush against canvas.
Silence was something she was more than accustomed to, having spent the majority of her first year in Konoha High mostly to herself (with the occasional exceptions). Hard as it may be to believe, she had a hard time making friends the previous term; with all the troubles she was forced faced, none of them had seemed particularly worth getting to know. The arts became a way to pass the time for her, as it always had when she was younger. Accustomed to spending hours practicing the piano or working on her projects when she was little, Tenten applied the same routine to her days and grew content with sticking to it.
"What about you?" But with silences came idle thought, and those generally were things to avoid when one was looking for a distraction from the things that haunted them. As much as she loved her artistic disciplines, they always had a direct connection to the past; something in which Tenten wanted nothing more than to forget. So it was with that thought in mind that the brunette let her soft voice cut through the silence of the morning, directing her question to the only other person in the general area and hoping that she had not assumed wrong in believing that Gaara would not mind a short conversation with her. "It’s obvious that you wish to be alone, so why don’t you just go find another place to wallow in your solitude?"
Turning jade orbs onto the only other inhabitant of the roof, Gaara watched her carefully, wondering why she would even care to attempt conversation with him.
"I don't wallow," he growled, inwardly adding 'twerp' to the end of that sentence. Was she being sarcastic with him? He didn't like it, and slit his eyes in aggravation as an outward reaction to his inward anger. Looking over the side of the building to the streets below, Gaara waited a few moments before answering, watching as the rare car or two drove speedily to its destination.
"Sometimes silence can be a good distraction. You should try it some time." He looked pointedly at Tenten's back before continuing. "And I would be more inclined to throw you off this building before relenting to your demands." The red-head had always had a problem with authority. The mere act of someone suggesting he do something he would rather not do often set his blood aflame, and put him in a position to bite back with harsh words.
Tenten almost scoffed out loud when she heard his initial response to her using the term ‘wallowing’, settling on smirking quietly instead. If anything, the defensiveness of Gaara’s irritated reaction only made him look more guilty of the act, at least in her mind. But as entertaining as it would have been to ruffle his feathers, something the girl found she could easily do, she was in no mood to deal with an angry young man. "It wasn‘t a demand, just a suggestion. There‘s a clear difference, especially when compared to your approach."
Picking up a three inch flat brush, she began blending in the colors of the background to better create the effect of the different shades that could often be seen in the sky during the early morning hours. It was not perfect (few things if any were in the world), but it was fine enough in her opinion, and she could be content in leaving it at that. Perfection, in all its splendor and concept, was nothing more than a fanatical thought created by dreamers and idealists. And as tempting as it was to exist in such a world, Tenten lived mostly in reality.
"Anyways, I’m afraid that in this case, silence is only a reminder of what I'm trying to forget." Booming sounds of thunder and the loud screech of a car echoed in her ears, bringing back a distant image that had been stored in the deep crevices of her mind many years ago. Always they would come back in full force during the very heart of the autumn season, torturously reminding her of the anniversary of when it all began. "Idol thoughts can be dangerous when left to wander and fester around the things that haunt us."
Exhaling the thought away with a slow and solemn breath, Tenten scoffed and allowed herself to smirk in his general direction. Now was not the time to burden someone else with her problems, especially someone she had only met twice. "Not that you'd care or understand that concept."
Glowering, the red-head turned away for a moment before changing his mind and stalking up closer to Tenten once again. How dare she assume he had no troubles of his own! She knew nothing about him, and it bugged him that she would judge him on first glance. But, of course, the very fact that her judgement othered him was another annoyance all its own. Everyone labeled him at first glance. He was used to it by now. But when this girl did it, it only made him angrier than he should have been.
"You're right," he answered smoothly. "I don't care." Then, more harshly. "But don't you dare assume you know anything about me, and my capacity to understand pain."
Scoffing again, this time at his own assumptions, she quietly put down the brush in her hands along with all other material she was holding and turned to fully face him. By the sound and tone of his voice, Tenten could only guess that he was in no mood to deal with her snappish comments. In the same respects, neither was she in the mood to defend herself against him...but she would if she had to. In a condescending manner, she retorted, "For your information, I wasn‘t referring to our capacity to understand pain."
As one who had fought hard gain her coveted position as ’one of the guys’ (despite the ridicule she had received from it) the sophomore was not about to back down, least of all to Gaara. But there was a right and wrong way to approach the situation. Exploding and yelling would do nothing to sate their pride nor calm their anger. So, with a calming sigh, she added more respectfully, letting the topic of their discussion sober her anger, "I meant that you couldn't understand the concept of silence being just as dangerous when it comes to idle thought."
When her tone of voice changed, so his posture and stance changed as well. Shifting from a tense, high strung position to a more natural lean, Gaara crossed his arms and looked Tenten in the eyes.
"Stating such idle thought doesn't help matters, and sometimes we must learn to suffer in the solitude of our own minds."
Quirking a brow at his statement, the brunette narrowed her eyes curiously as she continued to gaze deeply into his. After a moment or two, Tenten felt her expression softening on their own accord while she started pacing around the expanse of the roof, no real path in mind to follow and simply letting her feet lead the way. "You would know that, wouldn't you?"
Stopping at the edge of the roof and looking over the side at the world below, she rubbed lightly at her arms, more to keep warm than any nervous habit. "Forgive me for assuming, but you seem like the type who thrives on solitude."
Watching her pace back and forth, Gaara remained where he stood, waiting for her to speak as there was obviously something on her mind. When her light voice carried over to his ears, he tipped his head to the side at her comment, and stared at the sky hazily.
"It is much easier than attempting to foster friendships."
Muscles in her face shifting, Tenten's mouth twitched in a way that could only be described as a half frown as she mulled over his response. What he had said was true, at least in her experience. Friendship was a harder road to follow. But at the same time, the girl would argue that anything was relatively better than the clenching bitterness of loneliness. "How would you know when you never try?"
Turning away from the school grounds that stretched out in front of the building, her eyes returned to the only other figure standing on the roof for his reaction. "I saw you with the other students during the tour. Not even a proper greeting even though they were going out of there way to address you."
Slitting his eyes, the red-head matched Tenten's gaze coolly. So, she was referring to his cold attitude during the tour? Well, it wasn't like there was anyone interesting enough to talk to, in the first place. And even if there had been someone worth speaking to, it wasn't like Gaara trusted these people enough to open up, anyways.
"With friendship comes betrayal. I don't need to walk that path to know its outcome." He understood betrayal - more so than this girl would ever know -, and the pain which came with it. After experiencing such hurt, the teenager found it much easier to just avoid ties to humanity altogether. It wasn't worth the trouble. It wasn't worth the emotional wounds that came with it.
Betrayal. It was something she was familiar with, a reminiscent memory that still left a harsh sting in the very core of her heart. Though, as she kept her gaze locked with the red-head’s intense eyes, it was clear that Gaara had the deeper scar. Behind the anger and clear annoyance that he showed outwardly towards others (mostly directed towards her at the moment, the brunette would note), she could hear the hidden pain behind his statement alone. "You must’ve had a really jarring experience to come to that conclusion."
And then there were those eyes, dark-rimmed and jaded orbs that told of wordless emotions swimming in a sea of green. "With that kind of knowledge, I would have thought you of all people would be the last to prejudge someone."
He understood the pain of another's judgement well enough, though over time had learned to ignore those tiny cuts. Besides, what were small, incessant cuts to the heart, when compared to the gaping wound left behind from years ago? It truly was a hard thing to damage what was no longer there...
But this girl's words... He really had nothing to say to that. His experience taught him to distance himself from others, which, in turn, only hurt them as he had been hurt years ago. Of course, it wasn't like he actually cared about others feelings. It only annoyed him that he had become the very thing he hated the most - one who judged without sympathy or remorse.
Still holding holding his gaze with the other, Gaara strained to keep all emotions of surprise from flashing across his eyes and baring his emotions for the other to see. He wanted distance, but he also didn't want to back down. And this girl was making him increasingly nervous the more she spoke.
"Nothing to say?" Quirking a slender brow, the sophomore tilted her head just slightly. She had hit a nerve, his silence after Tenten had made her statement was enough to indicate that much. But then again, nothing about the subject matter seemed all too appealing for either of them. It was clear that both had close and personal experiences, incidents in their pasts that left bitter memories to taint their willingness to discuss the topic of pain and suffering, of rejection and judgment. She was all too familiar with the biting sting of rejection and judgment delivered from her peers and even her family. And as the sophomore looked deep into Gaara’s pale, emerald eyes, she could not help but wonder about his story.
It was normally something the brunette would never talk about with others, knowing perfectly well what their reaction would be to her morbid thoughts as they brought up raw emotions filled with unresolved resentment and guilt. After all, Tenten was not known to be one who felt depression so heavily in her heart whenever thoughts of her parents would resurface. Preferring to see happy smiles on people’s faces, she avoided such matters all together. To her, personal suffering was simply just that, personal. "Look, I'm not asking you to defend yourself. Something tells me you‘ve done enough of that in your life."
But speaking with Gaara, seeing the mask he put up to distance himself from the others...it made her feel not so alone knowing that maybe he understood what it was like. "To tell you the truth I'm not sure why it matters. It's obvious you don't care about my opinion or anyone else's but your own."
Standing stock still, Gaara regarded Tenten with what could only be described as distaste. He didn't like her. She spoke more than the others, and she made him think about things he didn't want to dwell on. It annoyed him, yet at the same time intrigued him. But, no matter his curiosity, he just wanted to be left alone to suffer in the blinding darkness he had brought upon himself.
"You talk too much," he growled out, and even though his words were harsh and biting, the usual coldness just wasn't there this time. It surprised even himself, but he wasn't about to admit that to the girl standing before him. She was right about one thing, at least. He didn't care about anyone else's opinion but his own. They never bothered to care about his thoughts, so why should he take the time to care about theirs? It just didn't make sense to him. Konoha's kindness didn't make sense to him. But there was one thing he could understand.
No matter where Gaara went, he was shunned. And no matter who stated otherwise, he was still hated by all.
...And he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Tch, great comeback." To anyone who happened to have come upon the scene at that particular moment, it would have appeared as if the both of them were about to face off against each other, looking serious as they stood solid in their places, facing one another on the deserted rooftop. And in a sense it was a battle for them, one that required little words to be said while the two of them continued to stare at the only other person in the general area. Teneten knew that there was nothing Gaara wanted more than for her to leave, to let him return to his solitude.
"You know...usually people say that when they hear something they don’t want to hear." But the way he was looking at her, the subtle shifts in his eyes while their gazes locked so intensely for who knows how long...the girl had a feeling that it went beyond the outer annoyance that he was obviously feeling. What it was, she could not begin to understand. But that did not take away from her curiosity as her brow quirked up just a fraction at his response. "Is that true in your case?"
She was pushing the limits of his patience with their conversation, of that Tenten was sure. But bordering on general concern and overall indifference to his disposition, the older girl pressed on, measuring just how far she would be allowed to go against his off-putting defenses surrounding his complex mind. Sometimes risks were required in order to really break through barriers and gain substantial ground. And while most would have considered Gaara to be a lost cause, destined to live in solitude as life or himself had deemed, Tenten was set on her belief that there was no such thing as a lost cause.
Gaara paused for a moment, considering her words, before smirking rather menacingly.
"Yes," he answered, a hint of malice to his tone. Then, after a short pause, "Your annoying voice is grating on my nerves, and I'm tired of hearing it."
...Because spiteful remarks were so much easier than dwelling on the past. And avoiding the subject tended to become a natural instinct when one was threatened by something as impacting as reflection. The redhead didn't like Tenten's words at all... because they hit home. Of course, he would never tell her that. Nervousness... admitting defeat... was a sign of weakness. And Gaara knew, more than most, that to survive, one had to be strong.
It was Tenten‘s turn to pause, taking a moment to regard his response before coming back with a reply of her own, though most likely not the one he was expecting. A small and quiet scoff escaped past her lips followed by an amused smile, of all things. As persistent and unrelenting as she could be at times, Tenten was used to such harsh and snappish comments. And though extremely hurtful at times, the brunette had learned long ago to grow a thick skin against them.
"Oh, very nice." To her, biting words could only mean that was being defensive about the subject matter, a clear sign that Tenten had indeed touched upon something, possibly a scar that ran deep within his tormented soul. But it was also a definite signal that the older girl was a few short steps away from crossing the line of limitations in their exchange. And so it was with a more mellow attitude that she continued on from that point, giving a half-hearted shrug along with her sarcastic response. "A fairly typical answer, but I liked your delivery."
She was so strange, and a part of him was intrigued by this. But an even bigger, more pressing part had labeled her as a threat, and threats had to be dealt with with the utmost cruelty. Suna had taught him that much, at least. Slitting his eyes, Gaara took a few steps forward, advancing on Tenten inch by inch until he was merely arms length away from her.
"Well then, I'll just have to show you how creative I can be." And with that he shot forth his hands, clamping them onto her upper arms with a tight grip; growling low in his throat as if warning her, on an animalistic level, that he was not going to take this anymore. Leaning forward until his mouth was a hair's breadth away from her ear, the redhead whispered smoothly, "You thought I was joking earlier, didn't you?" His grip tightened, and he jerked her slightly as if to accentuate his point. "I am not some experiment you can poke and prod for your own personal amusement, and I am not against throwing you off this roof if it means escaping your incessant tirades."
He froze then, his mind reeling with that he had just said while he fought to keep his emotions from showing. It was a losing battle.
Escape. He had said escape, which implied that he was running... which gave cause for her to believe that he was afraid. This was the very thing he had been trying to avoid, and in one poison-ridden sentence, he had completely blown his cover.
Loosening his hold on the other - though not entirely taking his hands off of her -, Gaara held his breath, hoping that this otherwise observant girl would overlook his slip up just this once.
So quick was his advance that she barely had time to react before he spoke, only managing to unfold her arms and lowering them defensively to her sides before Gaara grabbed at her, a quick shake to emphasize his point. The force of it was enough to cause Tenten to take a step back to catch her balance once more, something he seemed more than willing to accommodate for as he moved in further along with the brunette’s shift. She was trapped, feeling the heat of his body standing so close to her, leaning over her smaller frame while the warmth of his breath blew against the shell of her ear as he spoke...and then suddenly it stopped, causing curious, brown eyes to wander up the slope of his neck, following along the smooth line of his jaw...
Escape. That was what he had said. And if she was being truly honest with herself, it was what Tenten wanted to do at that very moment as well. Escape was the reason she had came up onto the roof in the first place, the need to forget her nightmares overpowering all other senses.
Her heartbeat slowly returned to normal as his pause allowed her to recover from the initial threat of his frame getting so close, so far past her defenses, exhaling a soothing stream of breath that sounded more like an agitated sigh than that of relief. There was no question that she would have been able to handle herself if things escalated into chaos from that point. Tenten was a strong person after all, tough enough to hang with the boys. But this was a fear that had been instilled in every girl’s mind since birth, being trapped in the grasp of a man and unable to free yourself from it Through all her years of training in the martial arts, she had only learned to mask the it with a calm calculative demeanor. But I guess you can never really get rid of something like fear.
"...Maybe you should throw me off the roof." Another breath in his loosened grasp, and the brunette found enough resolve to yank herself out of his grip, brows furrowed slightly in annoyance towards him for managing to make her feel so helpless, even if it was only for a moment. Pulling back a step or two more, she looked up into his deep-set eyes, catching sight of a mysterious symbol etched into his forehead and hidden under a curtain of bangs. "After all, things like that have worked so well for you in the past, haven’t they?"
"You want me to go so bad? Fine. Classes start in about an hour anyways." And with that, she stepped around him towards the stairs, where she had appeared not too long ago that morning. She would leave the easel, Tenten decided as a last minute thought. It was clear that the new arrival had a better eye for painting than she did. And perhaps by leaving it there, it would provide Gaara with something else to occupy his thoughts. Because still, even despite the stunt the former resident of Suna had tried to pull only moments before, she would believe that there was good in everyone. With a squeeze of the handle, she opened the heavy door and made to descend down the dark stairwell when she paused, one last point still lingering in her mind. "By the way, if I had asked you to leave, would you have listened to me?"
He was frozen in place as she pulled away from his arms, her angry words washing over him like water. Her voice practically dripped venom, but it was after that long pause, when she spoke that soft spoken phrase, that caught his attention and made his head snap towards her. Thinking over what she said, Gaara let the angry look in his eyes melt away to something more calm and controlled. His fury was no longer there, but the emptiness which resided in that gaze - the sheer hollowness he seethed -, was more chilling than any amount of temper he might have shown.
Watching her with these blank eyes, the redhead tilted his head to the side. "No," he answered simply, and only the truth rang in his words. There was no bitterness there, nor sorrow for the loneliness of such reality. Only acceptance.
Acceptance... and resignation.
"Yeah, I didn’t think so." Her voice was soft, almost weary as all the weight and overall mood of their conversation began to take its toll on her as well. The night had been long enough, filled with nightmarish images that would more than likely haunt her for the next few weeks as the days began to count down to the tragic anniversary of the day they all began. And the morning had proved nothing but the same as she was constantly reminded of those thoughts. But despite that, Tenten managed to turn around just enough to take on his quiet form once more, brows curled in such a way that bordered on sadness and contained frustration. "So, what made you believe that I would?"
That said, her point made, the brunette turned and made her descent down the stairs of the student dormitory, her mood no different from when she had arrived earlier, if not worse. There was so much of herself that she could see in him, at least what she could perceive from his reactions and demeanor concerning the subject matter they had been speaking about. It was a thought that made her both relieved and somber. Yes, there was someone out there who might understood her pain, but at the same time it only meant that he would have had to experience the same crippling agony as well. And that was a frightening thought.
...But where that knowledge would take her, only time could tell...
Type: RP log
Fandom: AU!Naruto
Character(s): Sabaku no Gaara, Tenten
Pairing(s): Really faint hints of GaaTen if you squint hard enough.
Warning(s): None
Disclaimer: I own only the part that I played in this.
Note: Log originally posted June 29, 2007 for the
konohanogakuen RP comm. The Gaara mun has since quit due to uncontrollable circumstances and I miss them dearly. ;__;Dedicated to: Gaara-mun...and my love of slow GaaTen developments. ^^
Sunrises were beautiful things, and today's was no exception. The clouds above were tinged in pink, outlined in gold, and the darkness of night gave way to the soft light of early morning. Sunrises were peaceful. They let you forget the troubles of a bitter past. They helped you escape from the darkness of a despairing present. And, most importantly, they let you fantasize about a future that was good, and true, and pure, and everything you may ever want it to be.
Gaara liked watching sunrises, nearly as much as he liked watching sunsets. As he sat back against the hard concrete of Konoha no Gakuen's rooftop, his all-black garb contrasting darkly with the dull gray cement he sat atop. Eyes half-lidded, the red-head gazed thoughtfully at the rising sun before him, watching with mild interest as the sky changed colors with its ascent. Few things in this world could be described as beautiful by Gaara. This masterpiece before him was one of those things, though he would never admit it out loud.
Admittedly, the sunrises in Suna were more magnificent than those in Konoha, though today had been a exception. As was the custom with a more humid climate, early morning gave way to a dense fog which blocked the rays of sunshine trying to filter down to the earth below. The effect: a sickly yellow-green color which was definitely not pleasant on the eyes. In Suna, the climate was so dry that fog was an impossibility. Instead, the constant harsh winds would whip through the sand and carry it in an invisible grasp. The glaring yellow sun was strong enough to filter through these small grains, and cast hues of orange, red, and yellow on the land.
Closing his eyes completely, the red-head basked in the silence of early morning.
Generally an even-minded and calm individual, there were few things in the world that could unnerve Tenten enough so that she would end up spending the entire night sitting awake in her dorm with little else to do for fear of waking up her roommate. It was her problem to deal with, not Sakura’s. But grief was something that could seep into the minds of everyone, even the most strong-willed and unlikely of characters. Only hours before, she had fallen victim to another nightmare, this one filled with memories of her long-forgotten parents and the tragedy that had placed the girl in the care of her uncle.
Bad dreams and haunting nightmares very rarely occurred in her life, but they happened often enough that Tenten had developed a routine of sorts to get her through those particular nights. Most times, she would simply burn up the hours by staring out the window at the moonlit sky, bathing the world in shadows while the stars twinkled and shined. They were a source of inspiration, as the poets write. But under the circumstances, they were merely welcomed distractions.
It was only when the thought of remaining in her room became too suffocating that she would risk a journey outside into the open air. More often than not, that stage of her routine would happen just in time for the brunette to make her way over to the school and the orchestra room where the piano would be waiting for her. Soothed and comforted by the music, she would spend hours until it was time for school to begin just playing the songs she had learned as a child and remember the good times that had been so prominent in her life before everything changed.
But now was not one of those occasions. The morning rays had been too inviting, too beautiful for Tenten to ignore for any longer. It had been a long while since she had made a trip up to the roof of the building to enjoy the wonders of a sunrise in Japan. And so, eyeing the small canvas in the corner of the room, already streaked with paint from her previous visits, the decision to head up there was made.
She smiled at the familiar sound of her steps echoing loudly in the spiraling stairwell as she made her ascent, the dried canvas tucked under one arm while the other held the other supplies she would need to complete the painting. Tapped to a corner of the canvas was a small photo of the sunrise, something she would use as a reference when the real thing was not available to her.
But then again, nothing is as good as the real thing, she admitted with a smirk as she pushed open the heavy metal door at the top of the stairs.
The sound of the rooftop door creaking open caught Gaara's attention, and he whipped his head around to view the figure interrupting his morning routine with suspicion. Great, he thought, watching carefully as an unfamiliar female stepped through the door and out into the open air. There goes the day... Grunting, the red-head turned his attention back to the rising sun, attempting to ignore the other, though the sounds of her incessant shuffling grated harshly on his ears. After a few moments of suffering, the teenager finally snapped.
"Leave," he called out harshly, his back still turned to the intruder. He found his request justifiable, and didn't care how rudely he had stated it. He had been here first, after all, so that had to count for something. Besides, company only got annoying, and when he got annoyed, he wasn't above throwing the source of such troubles off the roof entirely.
Believing that everyone else was still in bed sleeping, Tenten had been shocked to find that she would not be the only soul on the roof that morning. With a loud creek of the metal door, the girl stepped out of the stairwell to be greeted by the intense green eyes of another student. The blazing red hair had been a dead giveaway, considering there were only two people in the entire school that she knew of who possessed that particular hue. And while Sasori was completely the type to wake up at odd hours of the day, including the early mornings, from what Tenten had heard from Sakura the Senior had not left his dorm for quite some time. So it could only be one other person.
Feeling as if she might be intruding on a private moment, her initial thought was to retreat back into the safety of the shadows in order to let him have his moment. But upon rethinking her decision, the brunette decided to stay. The building itself covered a lot of space and so, certainly, the roof would be big enough for the both of then to exist comfortably. Normally a cooperative person, the need to forget about the dream out-weighed her usual response of courtesy.
Quietly as she could the sophomore made her way to the other side of the roof and began setting up the easel and canvas, refraining from even looking in his direction so that he could keep some semblance of privacy. In truth, Tenten had only met him once before during the tour she had been asked to give to the new students and knew next to nothing about the young man. But judging by the way he had always seemed isolate himself from the group, always lagging a little bit behind the group or standing off to the side, she could tell that he was a very solitary person.
All thoughts on that left her as his voice called out in annoyance, to which Tenten could not help but frown at. Yes, she was usually a polite and respectful member of society. But even she had triggers that called for her to be less than accommodating. And if there was something that she despised more anything, it was being told what to do rather than being asked. So with the paintbrush still in hand, she turned irritably towards the younger student and responded coolly, "Last I checked, this was public property. So if you don‘t mind, I have a painting to continue."
And with that, the brunette focused her attention back on the painting, glancing up at the sky occasionally to make sure she got the coloring right.
She didn't leave like he expected, and instead bit back a harsh retort. Glancing behind him, Gaara took note of the figure in the distance, recognizing who it was after a moments contemplation. When he had first met the girl - Tenten, was it? -, he was under the impression that she was a polite, confident person. Apparently, the confidence remained, but the politeness seemed to have fled in light of his own arrogance.
Snorting, the red-head twisted his body around to better glare at the girl on the other side of the roof. When he saw her painting, he tipped his head to the side and shifted slightly, watching with interest as she mixed and blended different colors to recreate the sky above them. Lifting up, the teenager stalked towards the other with unheard footsteps, pausing only when he was close enough to see the better details of her painting. Studying it with analytical accuracy, Gaara crossed his arms and spoke from directly behind her.
"The clouds have a more golden tint to them, not yellow... And your shade of blue is off." True, there were few things that interested the red-head, but art - painting and drawing, especially - was something he was rather fond of. It was unfortunate, though, that it could be another source of annoyance when others didn't see something how he saw it. Of course, he always had the courtesy to point out their mistakes for them. At least that could be considered an act of kindness, right?
His presence mostly forgotten, she continued to add on to the painting, getting lost in the process as the girl would often do with any medium of art she tackled. She barely registered his indignant snort as she continued to switch from the scene in front of her and the one depicted on the canvas. Tenten frowned slightly, brows furrowing together in frustration as she realized that the picture just did not seem right, though she could not for the life of her figure out why.
While it was true that every sunrise was never the same as the one before it nor the one after, the colors and scenes would most likely be greatly similar (she had seen enough of them to know that). And although Tenten did not consider herself to be a perfectionist when it came to this form of art, the nagging feeling in the back of the girl’s mind just would not leave her alone. The various hues and shades that she had already attempted thus far had done nothing to improve on the painting, and she was beginning to believe nothing would...
The suddenness of his voice appearing from behind her broke through such thoughts, startling the brunette so much so that she nearly dropped the brush in her hand. Palm pressed against her sternum, the pounding of her heart beat harshly against the cage of her ribs, Tenten spared a glance behind her and at the figure of Gaara that had somewhat magically manifested itself there. Where did he come from?
But that was only a lingering thought as a more prominent point plowed through her already racing mind. It had been clear from the tour that the red-head was less concerned about interacting with others, even his own sibling. So why was he helping her, someone he had only met once prior to this encounter, with this?
"Um…thanks," Tenten managed to say as she turned back to make the suggested changes.
She followed his advice, altering a few things here and there, but it still wasn't right. Growling in frustration, the red-head uncrossed his arms and slit his eyes. "Here." He stepped closer until his chest was just centimeters away from pressing against her back, their body heats mingling in the small space trapped between. Pointing towards a particular shade of blue, the red-head turned striking jade eyes in the others direction. "If you mix that with a few drops of white, you should come out with the right color."
It annoyed him to no end when people couldn't just see these things for himself. But it was much more bothersome when they didn't fix their mistakes. And when it came to art, Gaara demanded perfection, or at least something close to it.
Admittedly, she had always been better at sketches and sculptures, the more monotone disciplines of the arts. Color was often left to the photos she would take, relying on nature’s beauty to fill in the spaces with its vibrant hues. But always the adventurer that she was, Tenten had taken on this project in order to try something new. And with every mistake, a new lesson was learned. It did not bother her that much that Gaara had been pointing out the flaws in her painting. She welcomed the advice actually, even more so because he was the type who would never go out of his way to socialize with anyone.
However, feeling the heat of his body against her own was a bit unnerving and told just exactly how close he was standing. The soft caress of his breathe against the back of her neck, the sound of his voice just behind her ear; they were all starting to get to her. Not in a big way that was significant, but enough that she had to lean forward just a fraction. Normally, Tenten would only allow friends to get that close to her, and this guy was essentially a stranger, one who had made it clear that he was not trying to be friendly at all.
"Like this?" But if he was willing to speak with her, no matter what the manner, as long as he remained respectful to her, she would continue on and try her best to stay focused on the things he was showing her and nothing else. After all, she was in school to learn.
He noticed her shift away from him, even if the movement was slight, and snorted in amusement. Ignoring her question, he backed away from her, crossing the threshold to the other side of the roof and gazing upwards at the sky above. Tenten was intriguing, at best - annoying, at worst -, though the red-head found him falling into a mind in between those two extremes. He didn't really care, either way. Only... she had stolen his solitude right out from under him, and had refused to back down when he had told her to leave in the most threatening tone he could muster. Most people left. In fact, most people fled before Gaara even uttered a word. His mere presence was ominous enough to give others a bad feeling around him.
This had been good and well in Suna. One didn't really want to make friends back home, because you never knew who might stab you in the back when you least expect it. Gaara had learned this lesson well enough a long time ago, and applied its principles to this day. But in Konoha, solitude and defensiveness wasn't quite normal, and this confused him greatly. How could these people open up to each other? Weren't they afraid of being emotionally attacked? Had they no sense of self-preservation? It didn't make sense...
And here was this girl, back turned to Gaara as if she didn't fear he might hurt her. As if she wasn't suspicious of his motives. As if she trusted him. He didn't like it. He didn't like this fearlessness one bit, because it was unfamiliar, and unfamiliar things were threatening. Slitting his eyes at nothing in particular, the rumble of Gaara's low voice sounded before he could think to hold it in.
"Why do you not leave?" It was an innocent enough question, though the malice dripping from his tone gave it a whole other meaning. 'Why aren't you afraid?' he seemed to say. 'Have you no common sense?' These musings were left unspoken, but were hinted at subtly in his words. He wanted to know the answer, because then this girl might be less intriguing because of it, and if that was the case, he would be able to get on with his life.
His lack of response to her inquiry was nothing less than what she had expected. It was a foolish notion to even begin to believe that his demeanor would change after one gesture of...whatever it was that he had intended in giving Tenten impromptu aid with the painting project. Most would consider it an act of kindness on his part, but she knew better than to believe that, even with the limited amount of time the two had manage to spend in each other’s company.
On the surface, he appeared to be the typical self-imposed outcast, one who chose to keep himself separated from the group of his peers for one reason or another. He seemed to enjoy the isolation; that much had been apparent in the way he mostly kept to himself during the tour and in their shared classes, even in the way his voice held such authority when Gaara had demanded her to leave the roof when the girl arrived. But what was lying underneath all that animosity that the red-head seemed to give to any and all that he came across, Tenten could only guess.
With no words to be said, she glanced over her shoulder as Gaara distanced himself once more, returning to the other side of the roof where he had started when she arrived that morning. No, it was not her goal to become his companion and save him from continuing his lonely existence (because indeed, that was how she viewed it). She would leave the decision entirely up to him of whether or not they would become friends. Regardless, life would continue on like it had prior to his entrance into the school. But Tenten would be lying to herself if she said that she was not the least bit curious.
Continuing to make minor changes to the painting, the brunette could only scoff at his patronizing inquiry. Even when asking a simple question, Gaara just could not grasp the concept of common courtesy and respect.
"Because, first of all, I don‘t respond well to demands, most people don’t." Keeping her back to him, Tenten replied as calm and polite as she could under the circumstances, though she did little to hide the hint of sarcasm in her voice. "And secondly...I need a good distraction, even if it means having to deal with your ‘sunny’ disposition."
He didn't ignore the slight pause she left in her second statement, and tilted his head to the side when he heard it. Gaara understood what it was like to feel the need to distract yourself from the worries of this world. He did such a thing every night, often refusing to sleep just to ward off the nightmares that always came. Closing his eyes, the red-head turned his back on the other and remained silent for a while, listening to the soft strokes of Tenten's paintbrush against canvas.
Silence was something she was more than accustomed to, having spent the majority of her first year in Konoha High mostly to herself (with the occasional exceptions). Hard as it may be to believe, she had a hard time making friends the previous term; with all the troubles she was forced faced, none of them had seemed particularly worth getting to know. The arts became a way to pass the time for her, as it always had when she was younger. Accustomed to spending hours practicing the piano or working on her projects when she was little, Tenten applied the same routine to her days and grew content with sticking to it.
"What about you?" But with silences came idle thought, and those generally were things to avoid when one was looking for a distraction from the things that haunted them. As much as she loved her artistic disciplines, they always had a direct connection to the past; something in which Tenten wanted nothing more than to forget. So it was with that thought in mind that the brunette let her soft voice cut through the silence of the morning, directing her question to the only other person in the general area and hoping that she had not assumed wrong in believing that Gaara would not mind a short conversation with her. "It’s obvious that you wish to be alone, so why don’t you just go find another place to wallow in your solitude?"
Turning jade orbs onto the only other inhabitant of the roof, Gaara watched her carefully, wondering why she would even care to attempt conversation with him.
"I don't wallow," he growled, inwardly adding 'twerp' to the end of that sentence. Was she being sarcastic with him? He didn't like it, and slit his eyes in aggravation as an outward reaction to his inward anger. Looking over the side of the building to the streets below, Gaara waited a few moments before answering, watching as the rare car or two drove speedily to its destination.
"Sometimes silence can be a good distraction. You should try it some time." He looked pointedly at Tenten's back before continuing. "And I would be more inclined to throw you off this building before relenting to your demands." The red-head had always had a problem with authority. The mere act of someone suggesting he do something he would rather not do often set his blood aflame, and put him in a position to bite back with harsh words.
Tenten almost scoffed out loud when she heard his initial response to her using the term ‘wallowing’, settling on smirking quietly instead. If anything, the defensiveness of Gaara’s irritated reaction only made him look more guilty of the act, at least in her mind. But as entertaining as it would have been to ruffle his feathers, something the girl found she could easily do, she was in no mood to deal with an angry young man. "It wasn‘t a demand, just a suggestion. There‘s a clear difference, especially when compared to your approach."
Picking up a three inch flat brush, she began blending in the colors of the background to better create the effect of the different shades that could often be seen in the sky during the early morning hours. It was not perfect (few things if any were in the world), but it was fine enough in her opinion, and she could be content in leaving it at that. Perfection, in all its splendor and concept, was nothing more than a fanatical thought created by dreamers and idealists. And as tempting as it was to exist in such a world, Tenten lived mostly in reality.
"Anyways, I’m afraid that in this case, silence is only a reminder of what I'm trying to forget." Booming sounds of thunder and the loud screech of a car echoed in her ears, bringing back a distant image that had been stored in the deep crevices of her mind many years ago. Always they would come back in full force during the very heart of the autumn season, torturously reminding her of the anniversary of when it all began. "Idol thoughts can be dangerous when left to wander and fester around the things that haunt us."
Exhaling the thought away with a slow and solemn breath, Tenten scoffed and allowed herself to smirk in his general direction. Now was not the time to burden someone else with her problems, especially someone she had only met twice. "Not that you'd care or understand that concept."
Glowering, the red-head turned away for a moment before changing his mind and stalking up closer to Tenten once again. How dare she assume he had no troubles of his own! She knew nothing about him, and it bugged him that she would judge him on first glance. But, of course, the very fact that her judgement othered him was another annoyance all its own. Everyone labeled him at first glance. He was used to it by now. But when this girl did it, it only made him angrier than he should have been.
"You're right," he answered smoothly. "I don't care." Then, more harshly. "But don't you dare assume you know anything about me, and my capacity to understand pain."
Scoffing again, this time at his own assumptions, she quietly put down the brush in her hands along with all other material she was holding and turned to fully face him. By the sound and tone of his voice, Tenten could only guess that he was in no mood to deal with her snappish comments. In the same respects, neither was she in the mood to defend herself against him...but she would if she had to. In a condescending manner, she retorted, "For your information, I wasn‘t referring to our capacity to understand pain."
As one who had fought hard gain her coveted position as ’one of the guys’ (despite the ridicule she had received from it) the sophomore was not about to back down, least of all to Gaara. But there was a right and wrong way to approach the situation. Exploding and yelling would do nothing to sate their pride nor calm their anger. So, with a calming sigh, she added more respectfully, letting the topic of their discussion sober her anger, "I meant that you couldn't understand the concept of silence being just as dangerous when it comes to idle thought."
When her tone of voice changed, so his posture and stance changed as well. Shifting from a tense, high strung position to a more natural lean, Gaara crossed his arms and looked Tenten in the eyes.
"Stating such idle thought doesn't help matters, and sometimes we must learn to suffer in the solitude of our own minds."
Quirking a brow at his statement, the brunette narrowed her eyes curiously as she continued to gaze deeply into his. After a moment or two, Tenten felt her expression softening on their own accord while she started pacing around the expanse of the roof, no real path in mind to follow and simply letting her feet lead the way. "You would know that, wouldn't you?"
Stopping at the edge of the roof and looking over the side at the world below, she rubbed lightly at her arms, more to keep warm than any nervous habit. "Forgive me for assuming, but you seem like the type who thrives on solitude."
Watching her pace back and forth, Gaara remained where he stood, waiting for her to speak as there was obviously something on her mind. When her light voice carried over to his ears, he tipped his head to the side at her comment, and stared at the sky hazily.
"It is much easier than attempting to foster friendships."
Muscles in her face shifting, Tenten's mouth twitched in a way that could only be described as a half frown as she mulled over his response. What he had said was true, at least in her experience. Friendship was a harder road to follow. But at the same time, the girl would argue that anything was relatively better than the clenching bitterness of loneliness. "How would you know when you never try?"
Turning away from the school grounds that stretched out in front of the building, her eyes returned to the only other figure standing on the roof for his reaction. "I saw you with the other students during the tour. Not even a proper greeting even though they were going out of there way to address you."
Slitting his eyes, the red-head matched Tenten's gaze coolly. So, she was referring to his cold attitude during the tour? Well, it wasn't like there was anyone interesting enough to talk to, in the first place. And even if there had been someone worth speaking to, it wasn't like Gaara trusted these people enough to open up, anyways.
"With friendship comes betrayal. I don't need to walk that path to know its outcome." He understood betrayal - more so than this girl would ever know -, and the pain which came with it. After experiencing such hurt, the teenager found it much easier to just avoid ties to humanity altogether. It wasn't worth the trouble. It wasn't worth the emotional wounds that came with it.
Betrayal. It was something she was familiar with, a reminiscent memory that still left a harsh sting in the very core of her heart. Though, as she kept her gaze locked with the red-head’s intense eyes, it was clear that Gaara had the deeper scar. Behind the anger and clear annoyance that he showed outwardly towards others (mostly directed towards her at the moment, the brunette would note), she could hear the hidden pain behind his statement alone. "You must’ve had a really jarring experience to come to that conclusion."
And then there were those eyes, dark-rimmed and jaded orbs that told of wordless emotions swimming in a sea of green. "With that kind of knowledge, I would have thought you of all people would be the last to prejudge someone."
He understood the pain of another's judgement well enough, though over time had learned to ignore those tiny cuts. Besides, what were small, incessant cuts to the heart, when compared to the gaping wound left behind from years ago? It truly was a hard thing to damage what was no longer there...
But this girl's words... He really had nothing to say to that. His experience taught him to distance himself from others, which, in turn, only hurt them as he had been hurt years ago. Of course, it wasn't like he actually cared about others feelings. It only annoyed him that he had become the very thing he hated the most - one who judged without sympathy or remorse.
Still holding holding his gaze with the other, Gaara strained to keep all emotions of surprise from flashing across his eyes and baring his emotions for the other to see. He wanted distance, but he also didn't want to back down. And this girl was making him increasingly nervous the more she spoke.
"Nothing to say?" Quirking a slender brow, the sophomore tilted her head just slightly. She had hit a nerve, his silence after Tenten had made her statement was enough to indicate that much. But then again, nothing about the subject matter seemed all too appealing for either of them. It was clear that both had close and personal experiences, incidents in their pasts that left bitter memories to taint their willingness to discuss the topic of pain and suffering, of rejection and judgment. She was all too familiar with the biting sting of rejection and judgment delivered from her peers and even her family. And as the sophomore looked deep into Gaara’s pale, emerald eyes, she could not help but wonder about his story.
It was normally something the brunette would never talk about with others, knowing perfectly well what their reaction would be to her morbid thoughts as they brought up raw emotions filled with unresolved resentment and guilt. After all, Tenten was not known to be one who felt depression so heavily in her heart whenever thoughts of her parents would resurface. Preferring to see happy smiles on people’s faces, she avoided such matters all together. To her, personal suffering was simply just that, personal. "Look, I'm not asking you to defend yourself. Something tells me you‘ve done enough of that in your life."
But speaking with Gaara, seeing the mask he put up to distance himself from the others...it made her feel not so alone knowing that maybe he understood what it was like. "To tell you the truth I'm not sure why it matters. It's obvious you don't care about my opinion or anyone else's but your own."
Standing stock still, Gaara regarded Tenten with what could only be described as distaste. He didn't like her. She spoke more than the others, and she made him think about things he didn't want to dwell on. It annoyed him, yet at the same time intrigued him. But, no matter his curiosity, he just wanted to be left alone to suffer in the blinding darkness he had brought upon himself.
"You talk too much," he growled out, and even though his words were harsh and biting, the usual coldness just wasn't there this time. It surprised even himself, but he wasn't about to admit that to the girl standing before him. She was right about one thing, at least. He didn't care about anyone else's opinion but his own. They never bothered to care about his thoughts, so why should he take the time to care about theirs? It just didn't make sense to him. Konoha's kindness didn't make sense to him. But there was one thing he could understand.
No matter where Gaara went, he was shunned. And no matter who stated otherwise, he was still hated by all.
...And he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Tch, great comeback." To anyone who happened to have come upon the scene at that particular moment, it would have appeared as if the both of them were about to face off against each other, looking serious as they stood solid in their places, facing one another on the deserted rooftop. And in a sense it was a battle for them, one that required little words to be said while the two of them continued to stare at the only other person in the general area. Teneten knew that there was nothing Gaara wanted more than for her to leave, to let him return to his solitude.
"You know...usually people say that when they hear something they don’t want to hear." But the way he was looking at her, the subtle shifts in his eyes while their gazes locked so intensely for who knows how long...the girl had a feeling that it went beyond the outer annoyance that he was obviously feeling. What it was, she could not begin to understand. But that did not take away from her curiosity as her brow quirked up just a fraction at his response. "Is that true in your case?"
She was pushing the limits of his patience with their conversation, of that Tenten was sure. But bordering on general concern and overall indifference to his disposition, the older girl pressed on, measuring just how far she would be allowed to go against his off-putting defenses surrounding his complex mind. Sometimes risks were required in order to really break through barriers and gain substantial ground. And while most would have considered Gaara to be a lost cause, destined to live in solitude as life or himself had deemed, Tenten was set on her belief that there was no such thing as a lost cause.
Gaara paused for a moment, considering her words, before smirking rather menacingly.
"Yes," he answered, a hint of malice to his tone. Then, after a short pause, "Your annoying voice is grating on my nerves, and I'm tired of hearing it."
...Because spiteful remarks were so much easier than dwelling on the past. And avoiding the subject tended to become a natural instinct when one was threatened by something as impacting as reflection. The redhead didn't like Tenten's words at all... because they hit home. Of course, he would never tell her that. Nervousness... admitting defeat... was a sign of weakness. And Gaara knew, more than most, that to survive, one had to be strong.
It was Tenten‘s turn to pause, taking a moment to regard his response before coming back with a reply of her own, though most likely not the one he was expecting. A small and quiet scoff escaped past her lips followed by an amused smile, of all things. As persistent and unrelenting as she could be at times, Tenten was used to such harsh and snappish comments. And though extremely hurtful at times, the brunette had learned long ago to grow a thick skin against them.
"Oh, very nice." To her, biting words could only mean that was being defensive about the subject matter, a clear sign that Tenten had indeed touched upon something, possibly a scar that ran deep within his tormented soul. But it was also a definite signal that the older girl was a few short steps away from crossing the line of limitations in their exchange. And so it was with a more mellow attitude that she continued on from that point, giving a half-hearted shrug along with her sarcastic response. "A fairly typical answer, but I liked your delivery."
She was so strange, and a part of him was intrigued by this. But an even bigger, more pressing part had labeled her as a threat, and threats had to be dealt with with the utmost cruelty. Suna had taught him that much, at least. Slitting his eyes, Gaara took a few steps forward, advancing on Tenten inch by inch until he was merely arms length away from her.
"Well then, I'll just have to show you how creative I can be." And with that he shot forth his hands, clamping them onto her upper arms with a tight grip; growling low in his throat as if warning her, on an animalistic level, that he was not going to take this anymore. Leaning forward until his mouth was a hair's breadth away from her ear, the redhead whispered smoothly, "You thought I was joking earlier, didn't you?" His grip tightened, and he jerked her slightly as if to accentuate his point. "I am not some experiment you can poke and prod for your own personal amusement, and I am not against throwing you off this roof if it means escaping your incessant tirades."
He froze then, his mind reeling with that he had just said while he fought to keep his emotions from showing. It was a losing battle.
Escape. He had said escape, which implied that he was running... which gave cause for her to believe that he was afraid. This was the very thing he had been trying to avoid, and in one poison-ridden sentence, he had completely blown his cover.
Loosening his hold on the other - though not entirely taking his hands off of her -, Gaara held his breath, hoping that this otherwise observant girl would overlook his slip up just this once.
So quick was his advance that she barely had time to react before he spoke, only managing to unfold her arms and lowering them defensively to her sides before Gaara grabbed at her, a quick shake to emphasize his point. The force of it was enough to cause Tenten to take a step back to catch her balance once more, something he seemed more than willing to accommodate for as he moved in further along with the brunette’s shift. She was trapped, feeling the heat of his body standing so close to her, leaning over her smaller frame while the warmth of his breath blew against the shell of her ear as he spoke...and then suddenly it stopped, causing curious, brown eyes to wander up the slope of his neck, following along the smooth line of his jaw...
Escape. That was what he had said. And if she was being truly honest with herself, it was what Tenten wanted to do at that very moment as well. Escape was the reason she had came up onto the roof in the first place, the need to forget her nightmares overpowering all other senses.
Her heartbeat slowly returned to normal as his pause allowed her to recover from the initial threat of his frame getting so close, so far past her defenses, exhaling a soothing stream of breath that sounded more like an agitated sigh than that of relief. There was no question that she would have been able to handle herself if things escalated into chaos from that point. Tenten was a strong person after all, tough enough to hang with the boys. But this was a fear that had been instilled in every girl’s mind since birth, being trapped in the grasp of a man and unable to free yourself from it Through all her years of training in the martial arts, she had only learned to mask the it with a calm calculative demeanor. But I guess you can never really get rid of something like fear.
"...Maybe you should throw me off the roof." Another breath in his loosened grasp, and the brunette found enough resolve to yank herself out of his grip, brows furrowed slightly in annoyance towards him for managing to make her feel so helpless, even if it was only for a moment. Pulling back a step or two more, she looked up into his deep-set eyes, catching sight of a mysterious symbol etched into his forehead and hidden under a curtain of bangs. "After all, things like that have worked so well for you in the past, haven’t they?"
"You want me to go so bad? Fine. Classes start in about an hour anyways." And with that, she stepped around him towards the stairs, where she had appeared not too long ago that morning. She would leave the easel, Tenten decided as a last minute thought. It was clear that the new arrival had a better eye for painting than she did. And perhaps by leaving it there, it would provide Gaara with something else to occupy his thoughts. Because still, even despite the stunt the former resident of Suna had tried to pull only moments before, she would believe that there was good in everyone. With a squeeze of the handle, she opened the heavy door and made to descend down the dark stairwell when she paused, one last point still lingering in her mind. "By the way, if I had asked you to leave, would you have listened to me?"
He was frozen in place as she pulled away from his arms, her angry words washing over him like water. Her voice practically dripped venom, but it was after that long pause, when she spoke that soft spoken phrase, that caught his attention and made his head snap towards her. Thinking over what she said, Gaara let the angry look in his eyes melt away to something more calm and controlled. His fury was no longer there, but the emptiness which resided in that gaze - the sheer hollowness he seethed -, was more chilling than any amount of temper he might have shown.
Watching her with these blank eyes, the redhead tilted his head to the side. "No," he answered simply, and only the truth rang in his words. There was no bitterness there, nor sorrow for the loneliness of such reality. Only acceptance.
Acceptance... and resignation.
"Yeah, I didn’t think so." Her voice was soft, almost weary as all the weight and overall mood of their conversation began to take its toll on her as well. The night had been long enough, filled with nightmarish images that would more than likely haunt her for the next few weeks as the days began to count down to the tragic anniversary of the day they all began. And the morning had proved nothing but the same as she was constantly reminded of those thoughts. But despite that, Tenten managed to turn around just enough to take on his quiet form once more, brows curled in such a way that bordered on sadness and contained frustration. "So, what made you believe that I would?"
That said, her point made, the brunette turned and made her descent down the stairs of the student dormitory, her mood no different from when she had arrived earlier, if not worse. There was so much of herself that she could see in him, at least what she could perceive from his reactions and demeanor concerning the subject matter they had been speaking about. It was a thought that made her both relieved and somber. Yes, there was someone out there who might understood her pain, but at the same time it only meant that he would have had to experience the same crippling agony as well. And that was a frightening thought.
...But where that knowledge would take her, only time could tell...